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been married and married,
and often I've sighed,
I'm never a brides-maid,
I'm always the bride,
I never divorced them,
I hadn't the heart,
Yet, remember those sweet words,
"Till death do us part."
I married many men, a ton of them, and yet I was untrue to none of them,
because I bumped off ev'ry one of them to keep my love alive.
Sir Paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me.
At night he was a horse's nect to me,
so I performed an appendectomy,
to keep my love alive!
Sir Thomas had insomnia,
he couldn't sleep at night,
I bought a little arsenic,
he's sleeping now all right.
Sir Philip played the harp, I cussed the thing.
I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing,
and now he plays where harps are just the thing,
to keep my love alive, to keep my love alive.
I thought Sir George had possibilites,
but his flirtations made me ill at ease,
and when I'm ill at ease, I kill at ease
to keep my love alive.
Sir Charles came from a sanatorium,
and yelled for drinks in my emporium.
I mixed one drink, he's in memoriam,
to keep my love alive!
Sir Francis was a singing bird,
a night-in-gale,
That's why I tossed him off my balcony
to see if he could fly.
Sir Athelstane indulged in fratricide,
he killed his dad and that was patricide.
One night I stabbed him by my mattress side,
to keep my love alive, to keep my love alive.
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