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(From Evita)
It had to happen
The cast had to change
For how long can a girl do a show?
A year and a half and enough is enough
It wasn't easy
Even without matinees it got really rough
I'd go to the theatre just fine
But then I'd be worn out by nine
And what then of my future
And my career?
For although Broadway show offers are few
I can still do nightlubs and small movie roles
And when they film Evita
Oh, I will certainly keep myself free
Though, the chances are likely to be
They won't want to film it with me
Don't cry for me Barbra Streisand
The truth is I never liked you
You'll do the movie
And what a bummer
When you sing Eva
Like Donna Summer
How would you've liked it
In '68, if they'd filmed Funny Girl without you?
And MGM bought the film rights
And they'd wanted a star with no protrusion
So they rewrote the role
And cast...Doris Day!
You would have gone crazy and cried
But me, I'll just snicker and say
Don't cry for me Barbra Streisand
The truth is you bought the film rights
Though you're a belter, and very shrewish
You'll ruin the movie
Cause you're too Jewish
Have I said too much?
And you're to big a star to be lectured to
But all you have to do is look in a mirror
To know that every word is true
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