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JEFF
Austen, look at you. You’re a mess.
You want Katherine back for some reason, I guess. Well, here’s how…
AUSTEN
How?
JEFF
Pretend you couldn’t care less.
AUSTEN
Have you met me? You think I can just move on that easily?
JEFF
You want her back now, don’t you, bro?
AUSTEN
Uh… yes.
JEFF
Then there’s one thing you need to know
AUSTEN
Which is…
JEFF
Forget her
Boom!
Kaput!
She’s gone!
Women come back when you move on
They’re fed up with you
They list all the things that you lack
So, you go on, find someone new
Guess what?
Now they want you back
That’s all it takes
Oh, what a difference
A little indifference makes
AUSTEN
Jeff, it can’t possibly be that easy.
(Jeff sighs)
Don’t you think more people would know about it?
JEFF
You see that guy cry in his beer
A girl walks up, blows in his ear
Next thing she’s taking off her clothes
Now his ex has moved on
But, trust me!
She knows she says
Let’s screw no strings
He stammers okay
Through his shock
Suddenly his cellphone rings
It’s her!
And she just wants to talk
Oh, what a difference
A little indifference makes
So, come on, Austen
Let’s hit the town
Go somewhere loud
We’ll both get plowed
Hey, it’s Jeff
I won’t let you down
Oh, come on, Austen
She’s a memory
Just let it fade
We’ll get each other’s backs
Let loose, relax
Who knows?
You might even get laid
AUSTEN
(laughs) I don’t know.
JEFF
Oh, come on, Austen. If you go out and have fun,
somewhere Katherine will sense that you’re happy and come running back.
They have a sick sense.
AUSTEN (correcting)
Sixth.
JEFF
Un-uh, sick.
So, let’s go out, forget the past
Come on, please
Austen and Jeff back together at last
That’s what I’m talking about
Listen, it’s me, I’ll get us dates
Hey, I know this bar that Katherine hates
Do what we used to do
But, look!
Katherine’s back for more
AUSTEN
I’ll say “My, God, you’re back, it’s you.
Katherine, have you met the door?!”
JEFF
Yeah, that’s all it takes
BOTH
Oh, what a difference
AUSTEN
An itty, bitty difference
JEFF
What a whole life-changing difference
BOTH
A little indifference makes
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