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There is a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though I feed ‘em bonafide baloney
With no truth in it
Why you can bet I’ll find some rube to buy my corn.
‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And I’m referrin’ to the minute you were born.
Each blessed hour brings sixty of ‘em
Each time the wooden cuckoo shows his face
Another sucker takes his place,
And plunks his quarter on the line
To buy my brand of genuine malarkey.
God bless and love ‘em!
But don’t feel sad or hoppin’ mad or cause a scene
‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
But Ma’am you mighta been the minute in between.
If I allow that right here in my hands
The smallest living human man
The sight of that is surely worth a dime
If I present an educated pooch
Who’s trained to dance the hoochie cooch
What better way to waste a bit of time
If I imported monumental cost
A lady, fair, who’s head was lost
While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias
Who eats farina through a hose
And wares pink tights instead of clothes
If that ain’t worth a buck my name ain’t Phineas
Aw you say that’s hog wash well who cares
You’ll buy my hog was long as
There’s a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though my tale is bonafide baloney,
Just let me spin it,
And ain’t no man who can resist me wait and see
‘Cause there’s a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And friends the biggest one excluding none is me!
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